The First One Who Got Away: Romantic Attitudes of Filipino Young Adults in Singlehood

Abstract

First romantic relationships significantly shape young adults' attitudes toward love, commitment, and emotional vulnerability, particularly when these relationships end. This study explores how the experience of a first romantic breakup influences future relationship attitudes and the decision to remain single among Filipino young adults. Using a qualitative phenomenological approach, semi-structured interviews were conducted with ten Filipino young adults (ages 18–30) who have remained single for at least three years following their first heterosexual romantic breakup. Thematic analysis identified three key findings: (1) emotional self-preservation, where the first breakup instilled a deep fear of emotional pain, leading participants to avoid future relationships; (2) shifting relationship expectations, in which past experiences redefined participants’ views on love, commitment, and personal boundaries, resulting in greater relational caution; and (3) prioritization of independence, where participants viewed singlehood as a means of self-growth, autonomy, and the pursuit of personal goals. These findings suggest that first breakups create long-term psychological and relational shifts, influencing whether individuals actively seek new romantic relationships or embrace prolonged singlehood. This study extends theoretical perspectives on post-breakup adaptation and young adult identity development, highlighting how emotional resilience, self-concept, and relational expectations evolve after a first breakup. Practical implications include the need for guidance and counseling interventions that help young adults navigate breakup recovery, emotional resilience, and relational decision-making, ensuring they develop healthy perspectives on love and independence.